Peace Nobel for Obama!

Yes, they have given the Nobel peace prize to the war president.

I GOT IT, MAMMA!!!

By the same standards, following people should get the following awards:

1) Mayawati to get Austerity Award
2) Raj Thakrey to get National Integration Award
3) Manmohan Singh to get Strongman of India Award
4) Sonia Gandhi to get His Master's (Inner) Voice Award
5) Narendra Modi can ask Obama to share the Award with him
6) Salman Khan to get the Bollywood young Achiever Award
7) Mulayam / Mayawati to be fecilitated with All India Brahmin Committee's Achiever Award
8) Osama to get Most Seen Celebrity on TV Award
9) Himesh Reshmiya to get Oscar for Best Singer/Actor.


I rest my case.

Jairam Ramesh - Get a life!

When Union Environment MinisterJairam Ramesh visited Bhopal in Sept this year, activists and victims of Bhopal Gas Tragedy had high hopes. Instead, he picked up a fistful of Toxic Waste and stated "I am still alive" as if to mock the victims and their stand on the after effects of this toxic waste.

WTF? If this is what our minister can say to the Junta who has been denied justice for no less than 25 years of disabled, crippled and something that can hardly be called as life, he is no less than the infamous Marie Antoinette

Alive? Go get a life, Ramesh!

26 / 11 - Has anything changed?

26/11 1st Anniversary - Has anything changed?
1 year back I was sitting in my hall watching the attacks live on TV.
1 year later I was sitting in my hall watching the debates on TV.
Mumbai's fighting spirit? Sure... we fight for the remote of the TV.
Mumbai's return to normalcy? Sure...we need our money and we love it...anything for it.
Mumbai's fight for justice? Sure... We love justice and want it, but may be we can talk about it. over the dinner in the new Global Fusion restaurant that has opened in Bandra?
Mumbai mourns the martyrs? Sure, we feel sad for their families and also for Mrs Sharma who lost her diamond ring the other day...robbers are soooo commonplace no?
Mumbai....Citizens....Marathi Manus....Terrorism... rights...duties...tears...justice...
Its suffocating....Let's go to Lonavala over the weekend....

What's in a surname? Ask SRK!

I never quite was / am fancied by my surname, but I sure like it all of a sudden!

Jokes apart, apparently SRK -'The King' was offended because he was harassed anddetained at a US airport because he had a surname that was allegedly common in the terrorists.

And then there was an uproar!

The bollywood and 'patriotic' fans were up in arms against the US high-headedness and the Indian govt formally launched a complaint. Ambika Soni then topped it all by suggesting we do the same to 'them'!

Sigh!

I can actually imagine the following conversation at Patiala Airport:

(Basic Assumtion: All white skinned peeples are Amrikans)

Sheekurtee (Security is fondly called this in this part of the world) : So, your name you say is Brett Lee?Eh?

Brett: Er, yes. Is there a problem?

Sheekurtee (looking at Constable RamSingh and sniggering): Prablem? Hah! Saala bolta hai ki praablem ki hai...Arre Mr Lee, my wife was very fond of Bruce Lee and she finally eloped with a Chinese man with same surname. So you are not going to go anywhere out of my sight so soon.

Brett Lee: Huh? What? When? OMG!

Sheekurtee: (Winking at Constable Ram Singh) Ab to govt ne bhi green signal diya hai in saalon ki @*((*@&(*@(@(( ke liye, kyu? Ha Ha Ha Ha...Aa jaao, come here, Mr Lee. ..

Brett Lee : (Sweats in his pants already)

OK, now seriously, SRK is just another Khan for the US Security airport. And that is what he should be. The Indian Govt stand is completely illogical as is the stand of security officer if he was acting out of his own suspiscions based on surnames (Unless the US govt security checklist states to suspect all those with the surname Khan etc).

The world is surely a funny place, unless you are an SRK.

Sach Ka Saamna faces the moment of truth!

In a bizarre incident, the government has sent a show cause notice to a TV channel for airing a show called Sach ka Saamna!.

This caused it -
The SP’s Kamal Akhtar raised the matter in the Rajya Sabha today, saying contestants were being asked “obscene questions” about their personal lives in front of their family members. The show was against “Indian culture”, he said, and cited an instance where a woman was asked in the presence of her husband whether she had thought of committing adultery. The woman replied in the negative, but the polygraph test showed she was not speaking the truth, Akhtar said.

Obscene???? Against Indian Culture???? And Samajwadi Party SP???
Someone pass me some Oxygen please...

If the questions asked are obscene and against the so called Indian culture, shouldn’t we first demolish the Khajuraho and all other temples which are completely in-your-face against the so called “Indian culture” and instead put up Mayawati (solo and decent) statues there?

If you dont like a show, change the channel, man!

Just when you think that the Indian politicians have hit the pits, they come up with a beauty like this...

Makes me wonder if they will ever face the moments of truth in their lives!!!

VVIPs and the Law of the land!

The media (ToI) tells us this:

Following VVIPs/VIPs and spouse are exempted from pre-embarkation security checks at all civil airports:
President Vice President Prime Minister Governors Former Presidents Former VPs CJI LS Speaker Union ministers of cabinet rank CMs & Deputy CMs Deputy Chairman, Planning commission Leader of opposition in LS & RS Bharat Ratna awardees Ambassadors of foreign countries, Charge d’ Affairs; high commissioners and their spouses Judges of SC CEC CAG of India Deputy chairman RS & Dy Speaker of LS Union ministers of state Attorney General of India Cabinet secretary Lt Governors of Union Territories Chiefs of staffs holding the rank of full General or equivalent CJs of High Courts CMs & Dy CMs of Union Territories Visiting foreign dignitaries of a certain status Dalai Lama SPG protectees, Robert Vadra

Do read the last name in the above paragraph and rub your eyes again to check what name you just saw!

OK, while Robert Vadra’s name surely is a WTF entry in this list as are the spouses of all those in the list, I wonder why should anyone be in such a list in the first place!

The security is paramount in this country and law of the land should be same for one and all. All.

Long Live Mayawati! I mean Megawati!

I think that Behenji Mayawati must be the only leader elected democratically who is installing her own larger than life statues in her state! And as even the Supreme Court refuses to stop her, she is truly unstoppable. The likes of Thakereys, Lalus, Jayalalithas and Sonias in all their glorious years have nowhere managed to do anything like this before. Shame on you, guys. Way to go, Mayawati.

In fact, I also have the following suggestions:
1) You also remove existing statues of un-important people like Gandhiji etc and install your own huge ones (I mean statues) there.
2) Why not also introduce an entire chapter in the history books of school children dedicated to you?
3) Name the institutions, roads etc only after you. Distinguishers can be Behenji Mayawati Road #1, Road # 2...Road no. 6777329 etc. This will not only allow your name to be echoed all throughout the state, you can also undertake to prepare mega roads for Dalits and other downtrodden communities in order to show your social cause (I am not even mentioning the humongous chance of super-corruption for you therein) and in turn get them named after you.
4) OK, they talk about you, they read about you and also they see you all around. Good. What else can we do? ummm...Yes, get mega projects like Taj Corridor etc and name them after you. But that is only repeating the above point...
5) OK, how about the TV sets in all UP houses showing only your image one corner of the TV with other useless stuff in remaining portion? Rather, they should show the useless stuff in one corner and the rest of the portion should be hogged by you.
6) Also, in the next tenure, lets talk about converting all your statues into Gold - that will be grand, eh?

I guess I should stop now.
Long live Mayawati, er...Megawati!!!

A question for Baba Ramdev

Dear Baba Ramdev,

I seem to smile too much in my life. Will you be able to cure this disease as well?

Yours sincerely,
Ranjeet